Rihanna, Nigel Tufnel, & John Piper on Sex

For the first time in a while, I was shocked by something: I heard the song S&M by Rihanna on the radio the other day. Oh sure, there are plenty of sexual songs on the radio, but something about the graphic lyrics to that song struck me in a way that other sexual songs don't usually. Maybe I'm just getting more numb along with the rest of America. There are many levels that I am disappointed with the way that America thinks and behaves sexually. I am disappointed morally; sex is a holy thing. I am disappointed relationally; the onslaught of sexually explicit images doesn't help my wife's and my relationship in any way. I am disappointed parentally; I can't even fathom the pressures that my daughters will be facing for the rest of their lives.

Perhaps one of the ways that I am most disappointed is intellectually. Of all the accusations and caricatures of "dumb Americans," I contend that none are so aptly fitting as how we think about sex. We are like preschoolers who have been let loose into the cotton candy factory, eating ourselves sick and never feeling satisfied. We're immature and unthinking when it comes to sex. It reminds me of the movie Spinal Tap. At one point, the filmmaker reads a review of their record to the band:

Marty DiBergi: "This tasteless cover is a good indication of the lack of musical invention within. The musical growth of this band cannot even be charted. They are treading water in a sea of retarded sexuality and bad poetry."
Nigel Tufnel: That's just nitpicking, isn't it?

As humorous as the movie may be, it actually makes a salient point. The boys in Tap were buffoons and toyed with sex the way a small child might play with a mud pie: as a diversion. If we're honest, this is how we act about many other pleasures besides just sex. When we are lonely, bored or depressed, we reach for food that we know is unhealthy because it gives us an emotional "fix," albeit temporarily. There isn't a person alive today who is unaware that cigarettes will kill you, yet millions of people still reach for cancer sticks when they are stressed, nervous or simply bored.

You are bored.

We as a nation are bored.

We were made to be overwhelmed by the glory of God, but we're bored and distracted. John Piper writes:

My conviction is that one of the main reasons the world and the church are awash in lust and pornography...is that our lives are intellectually and emotionally disconnected from the infinite, soul-staggering grandeur for which we were made. Inside and outside the church Western culture is drowning in a sea of triviality, pettiness, banality, and silliness. Television is trivial. Radio is trivial. Conversation is trivial. Education is trivial. Christian books are trivial. Worship styles are trivial. It is inevitable that the human heart, which was made to be staggered with the supremacy of Christ, but instead is drowning in a sea of banal entertainment, will reach for the best natural buzz that life can give: sex. - John Piper in Sex and the Supremacy of Christ, available as a free e-book download here.

Elsewhere in the book, Piper argues from the scripture that sex was given to us by God to give us a glimpse of the type of joy and pleasure that truly awaits us in God. Sex is a metaphor; the reality is actually far more powerful. This is why the Bible constantly uses marriage and sex as a picture - both positive and negative - as a picture of our relationship with God.

Here are some of the things that I am praying about when it comes to our unthinking attitude toward sex. I invite you to pray these with me:
1. May we repent of turning sex into a "god," seeking ultimate satisfaction in it. Romans 1:24-25
2. May we submit our sexuality to God, knowing that His commandments are given to us for our good. Deuteronomy 10:13
3. May we understand that sex is a gift from God given to us for our enjoyment in it's proper time and proper context. Song of Solomon 8:3-4
4. May we learn to think critically, to engage our minds, so that we are not so easily fooled into thinking that an earthly pleasure can provide soul-satisfaction. Ephesians 4:14-16
5. May we learn to take all of the pleasures of life - sexual or otherwise - and turn them around as worship to the God who gives us pleasures for our enjoyment. Psalm 36:7
6. May we find our deepest joy and delight in God alone.