Everybody has ideas. Everybody places value on those ideas. Everybody has emotion (key word) that is tied to the value they place on their ideas. We get these ideas from our upbringing, from our life experiences, from teachers and authority figures, and even from sacred writings. No matter who it is, everybody experiences some level of emotional response within themselves when one of their beliefs or ideas are challenged; I don't care how unattached they try to act. They care.
I am friends with quite a variety of people from a variety of viewpoints. Nowhere is this more evident than via my Facebook page. I am friends with Protestants, Catholics, Orthodox, agnostics, atheists, pantheists, polytheists, liberals, conservatives, soldiers, pacifists, rich, poor, South Americans, Europeans, US Americans, Canadians, AND even Texans! In my quest to encourage people to "engage their minds" when it comes to our relationship with God, I will often post...thought-provoking?...discussion-inducing?...possibly controversial?...statements, intended to at least give people the opportunity to wrestle with more difficult issues. I like to encourage people to not just sweep these difficult conversations under the proverbial rug. We may never really reach some dramatic conclusion, but I think that there is value even in the discussion.
What often happens is that people with a variety of viewpoints weigh in on these important topics. (People also weigh in on the unimportant ones, which is usually way more fun - "No way man, Delta Force 2 was WAY better than the first one..."). In my experience, I have found these conversations to be often difficult, often fruitful, often enlightening, often confusing...but virtually always emotional. Emotion is a good thing, not a bad thing. It can get out of balance, of course, but if we didn't have emotion, we would never be able to determine what was important or not to our lives.
* side note: lest you think that I am referring entirely to my Facebook conversations, let me reassure you: these kinds of discussions seem to follow me around. My last New Years Eve was spent in a 2 hour long theological discourse with 3 other guys from my church family, in the middle of a packed house party. Oh yeah, I'm a party animal..
Here's the trap that I often fall into. Do you ever fall into the same line of thinking as me? I often think that it will be possible to figure everything out. I would never say that out loud, but if I was truly honest, I think that there's a pretty substantial part of me that actually believes it. This part of me is probably a reaction to some people that seem to think that it's wrong to make any definitive statement at all. I know I'm generalizing, but this is how many people have come across to me. I have demonized emotion, and tried to approach everything from a no-emotion-purely-objective-purely-rational mindset.
THIS IS IMPOSSIBLE TO DO! (SEE WHAT LARGE LETTERS I AM...TYPING..TO YOU...WITH MY OWN...FINGERS! Sorry, St. Paul. It just seemed appropriate)
Every now and then, I run up against something that I cannot exhaustively explain (um, God?). My ideas are challenged. My presuppositions are not so secure. And, yes, my emotions get riled up. When I find myself in this place, my instinctual reaction is to fight back with a "yeah, but" of my own. Here's the challenge that I feel like God is asking of me: can I look myself in the mirror, say the words "I know nothing" and still be OK with myself?
Somewhere in between the "I know nothing" and the "I know everything" is reality. Since I tend towards the "everything" end of the spectrum, God has been challenging me to remember that there are many, many things that I don't know. As the Greek Orthodox theologian Kallistos Ware put it "With theology, we can set a fence around the mystery, but we can never exhaustively explain it." There are some things that I believe in, that I am fully convinced of, that I would die for. But even in these beliefs, I desire to have an attitude of grace and charity.
Like I have said in a previous post, if every single belief you hold is a "10" in terms of importance, you are probably a fundamentalist. Sometimes we have to just disengage our brains a little bit, and trust that God can still love us despite all our disagreements and differences in perspective.
I guess I am advocating some kind on "tension" in when it comes to faith. Maybe not advocating...maybe just coming to grips with the tension that is inherent in our lives as people.
Thank you to everybody who is walking along this path with me. I tend to be a pretty public person when it comes to my opinions, beliefs, and feelings. I know that I've stepped on more than a few toes. I know that I've come across as harsh and opinionated at times. That said, I have so many people in my life who speak good things to me and about me; I feel very undeserving sometimes of all the grace, support and respect that people have given to me. I am forever grateful for the love of Christ that has been revealed through so many terrific people in my life.
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