My Best/Worst Films of 2010

Here's my basic premise: most movies are terrible. The acting is terrible. The plot is terrible. The directing is terrible. The dialogue is terrible. I realize that this premise is completely subjective because different people like different things, but some people are just easy to please and will watch whatever schlock the previews tell them to watch. I will ALWAYS advocate that people approach all media - movies, music, books, news, etc. - with an intelligent thoughtfulness and a healthy dose of skepticism. That way, they're less likely to spend their time and hard-earned money on something that has no value.

Now, with that subjective opinion-filled diatribe out of the way, allow me to offer my opinion on the movies of 2010.

Very Good Movies

1) Robin Hood. Great cinematography. The actors, particularly Crowe, were fantastic. Decent attempt at a fresh take on the classic story.

2) Inception. I love everything that Chris Nolan does. Throw in a handful of fantastic actors and a thought-provoking plot/premise, and the results are quite good.

3) Despicable Me. Maybe it's just because I have little girls, but the adoption story arc actually made me tear up. Coupled with the laughs from Carrell and company, it was quite an emotionally satisfying experience.

4) True Grit. Killer dialogue. GREAT acting from the entire cast, particularly the young Hailee Steinfeld. The Cohen bros, against all the odds, manage to remake a classic film, and actually improve upon it.

5) Toy Story 3. A great wrap-up to an already great franchise. I vote that Pixar be put in charge of all entertainment. If Pixar had made Lost, the ending wouldn't have been such a train wreck.

Honorable Mention / Pretty Good Movies:

Narnia: Dawn Treader - didn't butcher the book, but wasn't truly special

How To Train Your Dragon - some laughs, some heart, mostly run-of-the-mill

Ramona & Beezus - only if you're the parent of young girls :)

Tangled - no major complaints, but nothing to write home about

Alice In Wonderland - did Depp's oddball performance save or ruin this movie?

Karate Kid - decent remake. Kinda cheesy dialogue, but good for my kiddos

The Book of Eli

Mediocre Romantic Comedies That My Wife Watched But I Somehow Dodged:

Bounty Hunter, When In Rome, Valentine's Day (her favorite of the mediocre rom-coms), The Killers

Just Truly Terrible Movies - Some I've Seen and Many I Don't Need To See To Know How Awful They Are:

Letters To Juliet, Devil, MacGruber, Charlie St. Cloud, The Back-Up Plan, Piranha 3D, The Social Network, Saw 3D, Iron Man 2, Burlesque, Little Fockers, Paranormal Activity 2, Wolfman, Vampires Suck, Eat Pray Love, Cats & Dogs: Revenge of Kitty Galore, The Sorcerer's Apprentice, The Last Airbender, Marmaduke, Sex and the City 2, Furry Vengeance, Kick-Ass, Clash of the Titans, Prince of Persia, The Spy Next Door, Legion, Dear John, She's Out of My League, Hot Tub Time Machine, My Soul To Take, Wall Street,

There are still a few movies that I would like to see once they're out on Blu-Ray. Only then can I formulate an informed opinion: Knight and Day, The Tourist, MegaMind, The Fighter, Salt, Tron...maybe.

One final unique category for me...movies that looked like they might have had some potential but I chose not to see because of the content, particularly sexual content & nudity:

Date Night, Dinner For Schmucks, Due Date, Love and Other Drugs, The American, The Men Who Stare At Goats, Scott Pilgrim vs. the World.

If I called your favorite movie terrible, forgive me; it's just an opinion. But I'm still right...

Book Review: The Jesus You Can't Ignore

The Jesus You Can’t Ignore is a book by John MacArthur that highlights the conflicts of Jesus’ earthly ministry. The main thesis of this book is that Jesus often gets portrayed in our post-modern America as a soft-spoken, mild-mannered conversationalist who would never ever do anything to upset anybody, but that is an untrue caricature. The Jesus... is mainly comprised of scriptural accounts where Jesus finds himself at odds with the leading religious figures of the day and proves that He is not afraid of conflict.

MacArthur also takes opportunity to call out some of the Emergent Church-type Christians who, in his view, are more interested in theological conversations that are non-emotional, intellectually disconnected, and open to all possibilities than they are with the truth. I can’t help but feel like MacArthur is missing something, though. In this book, virtually all of the stories show Jesus clashing with the religious leaders of the day, while it seems that the Emergent folks are calling for civility with those who are skeptics, seekers, and the like. While I am certainly not a fan of Brian Maclaren, I don’t think that he has any problem clashing with those who, in his mind, are the modern day Pharisees.

The bottom line to me is this: why do Christians seem to have such a hard time finding balance? I completely agree with MacArthur’s premise that there absolutely a time and a place to “earnestly contend for the faith” (Jude 1:3), there also needs to be a humility present that says “maybe I don’t have everything completely figured out.” Call me crazy, but I think followers of Jesus are at their best when they are neither spineless nor butt-heads, when they know which battle are worth dying for and which battles are worth having a conversation about. I think this book by MacArthur brings up some very necessary ideals that we must be reminded about, but in the end, he just kinda sounds like he’s looking for someone to fight with. In the end, however, one fact remains incontrovertible: Jesus was and is and will continue to be a controversial figure who is impossible to ignore.

Legal note: I was given a free copy of this book in exchange for a fair review. I am not required to make this a positive review.

Unholy Underwear

The following is from a paper I am working on for school on the subject of "calling." It highlights some things that I believe are important to remember as we seek God to know what we are called to do.

One of the areas that we must address when it comes to the subject of calling is the relationship between that which is considered sacred and that which is considered secular. The Old Testament - particularly the Torah - spends a great deal of time explaining to the people of Israel the difference between sacred and secular. There are holy days and unholy clothing, sacred implements and unclean animals, a most holy place in the temple and everywhere else. I believe that it was not God’s purpose to teach the Jews that certain aspects of his creation were good and others bad, but to teach them that he himself is a holy God. With pantheism and nature-worship so prominent at the time of the writing of the books of the law, God was teaching his people that he was separate from and transcendent over his creation.

In the New Testament, however, we begin to see a fuller picture of how God desires us to relate to all of his creation. In his conversation with the Samaritan woman, Jesus explains to her that the location of the worship is not what is important, but that we must worship God “in spirit and truth.” (John 4:24) At the moment of Jesus’ death, the curtain that divided the most holy place from the rest of the temple was torn in two. We later read in the book of Hebrews that the priests are now no longer the only people who have access to God’s holy presence, but that all who believe in Jesus now have access “by the new and living way that he opened for us through the curtain, that is, through his flesh.” (Hebrews 10:20) Paul too, in his writings, affirms the thought that now all things are sacred before God because of what Jesus did on the cross, even as he instructs us to deal humbly with those who still wrestle with these distinctions. “I know and am persuaded in the Lord Jesus that nothing is unclean in itself, but it is unclean for anyone who thinks it unclean.” (Romans 14:14)

When we hold to the idea that some things are sacred and others are secular, we run the risk of missing out on the calling of God that is right under our nose. We imagine that certain tasks - preaching, teaching, leading worship - are somehow more valuable than others. The mother who stays at home with her children may miss the fact that she is the primary preacher, teacher, and worship leader to those children. The young man working at a restaurant may not value the opportunities he has to show God’s love to his patrons because he is caught up in the thought that what he is doing is not particularly sacred. In the book of Ruth, we see the example of the businessman Boaz, who, because of his financial success, was able to be the kinsman-redeemer for Ruth. Because of their marriage, Boaz became an ancestor of King David and, ultimately, Jesus of Nazareth. Was his vocation any less important to God’s purposes than the “holy men” and priests who served in the temple? Of course the answer is no. Or take for example Aquilla and his wife Priscilla, the tent-makers from the city of Corinth. Even though they were tent makers, not priests in the temple or rabbis in the synagogue, they were able to have a major impact on the spread of the gospel by correcting the theology of Apollos, a powerful teacher and apologist for the gospel. Were they any less faithful to the call of God because they weren’t public teachers or preachers themselves?

It should be noted here that there are going to be certain tasks that will have a more immediate impact or a more noticeable influence than others. If God calls a person into the realm of education, the impact that they have on a young child’s life is immeasurable. But if God calls someone into the realm of administration or office management so that the teacher can be free to teach, it should be understood that the administrator’s time and effort is every bit as valuable as the teacher’s. When we start to understand that there are fewer distinctions between the sacred and the secular, it frees us to begin to live out our calling right here and now.

Gasoline and South Korean Immigrants

I'm still trying to figure out what just happened...

After my small group tonight, I went out with two of my friends to the Snow Goose. On the way home, I noticed that my gas gauge was reading low. (Does anybody else do the "naw-I-can-make-it-until-tomorrow" game the same way that I do?) After a short argument with myself, I decided to stop at the Chevron near my house to fill up.

While gassing up, I noticed two men on the other island trying to start a van with one of those pre-charged jumper/compressor things. As I filled up my Suby, I watched the two men attempt, to no avail, to start the van.

It's cold tonight in Anchor-town tonight. 6 degrees or so.

After a few minutes, I walked over to the guys and asked if there was anything I could do to help. The two men had apparently just met at the gas station themselves. One was an Asian man with a thick accent and the other was a white guy who had a weird speech impediment or something. The white guy informed me that he was trying to help the Asian man jump-start his van, which had died while sitting at the gas pump. The van was an older model (80's??) Dodge and had definitely seen better days. While trying to help start the Dodge van with his charger/compressor, his own car (a new 2010 Chevy Eqinox) had also died. Apparently this was his first attempt to drive it since he drove up with his new wife from Delaware in April and the battery was not up to the challenge offered by the cold Alaskan night.

I have never seen two cars with dead batteries at the same gas station before.

I told the guys that my house was 2 minutes away, and that I didn't mind going home to grab my jumper cables. The white guys (rather sheepishly) said that it would be very nice if I was able to help them out. I jumped in my car and headed home.

** Total side note: ever since I installed subs in my car two weeks ago, I cannot stop listening to rap and hip-hop music. Tonight's Pandora mix was brought to you by Tupac, The Fugees, and Jay-Z. It was totally refreshing for me, musically speaking, but, MAN, I wish they didn't swear so much. Gratuitous cursing makes people sound like idiots. One well-placed "swear" word can (operative word, can) be an effective tool at driving home a serious point, but constant swearing makes people sound like they have absolutely no linguistic skills. But I digress...

As I pulled back into the gas station, I decided to pull up to the Chevy Equinox first. I figured it had the best chance at starting and I was in the mood for a success. After 15 or 20 seconds of charging, the car fired up without a problem. I unhooked the jumpers and drove over to the van. As I pulled up to the van, I noticed that HE ALREADY HAD JUMPERS HANGING FROM HIS BATTERY!! Why the heck did I drive home first if he already had cables? Oh, well. As I starting working with the Asian man to hook up the cables, the white guy walked up and handed me $20 for my help. I tried three times to politely turn him down, but he assured me that he knew I would have done it for free, but he wanted to show me his appreciation. I politely accepted the $20 and turned back to the Dodge Van.

After we hooked up the cables, I knew I had a few minutes to kill while we waited for the battery to charge. I asked the man his name, and he told me (in very broken English) that it was Suh. I kept asking some basic questions while we waited. He immigrated from South Korea in 2001, and he had no family in America. He has worked in the restaurant industry for the last 9 years, but was recently fired because they thought he was too old and no longer of any use. Suh is 67 years old. Without me asking him, he informed me that he was living in his van.

Seriously? In 6 degree weather? In his van??

As an Anchorage pastor, I have some information and access to services in the city that could be of benefit to Suh. Despite my repeated offers and encouragement, he assured me that he wanted to stay in his van overnight. I asked him if he had food, and he told me that he went to McDonald's in the morning and the Downtown Soup Kitchen in the evening. City Church is an official DSK partner and I was glad to know that money I had helped (with the pastoral staff) to decide to send to them was helping this man I had just met.

I can't describe to you the spirit that this man had. Despite his broken English, he was communicating to me a grateful attitude and an optimistic spirit. We all could learn a thing or two from Suh.

I told him that I was a pastor and that Jesus loved him and that our church had ways to help him out, especially when it comes to food. He told me that he had just started visiting a Korean church in town and he was very thankful for them. I told him to please call me tomorrow afternoon so I could follow up with him and offer help and assistance.

After a few parting pleasantries, I sat down in my car and drove away. I looked over on my passenger seat...and there was the $20 bill from the Chevy guy. Why did I forget?!? I should have given it to Suh.

I'm still trying to wrestle through what exactly just happened in the middle of the night at a Chevron near my house. I can't exactly describe it, but it was significant for me. It's very easy to pass by a couple of people in a situation like I witnessed tonight and do nothing, but for some reason I felt compelled to step in. In situations like this, I never know who is the real beneficiary, myself or the people I helped. I really wish that I had more insight into the whole thing.

I don't know the final story. All I know is that this once, I was faithful to what God asked me to do. I'm hopeful that there will be many more opportunities like this.

Christmas Music You'll Actually Enjoy

The first Sunday of Advent is tomorrow, so it's officially the Christmas season. If you're anything like me, you have a love-hate relationship with the music of the season. On the one hand, there's a certain amount of enjoyment that comes from the traditional songs of the season, both "sacred" and "secular." It's hard to deny that Jingle Bells is a catchy tune that is especially fun to sing with energetic kids. Some of the Christmas hymns reflect the emotions of God's people so beautifully: longing, expectation, surprise, joy, elation and peace. Some of these songs are truly brilliant.

However, the expression "familiarity breeds contempt" doesn't even come close to describing the sickening feeling many of us have upon hearing the same tunes over and over and over again during this Christmas season. There are too few songs that are played too often and everywhere. For example, I studied Tchaikovsky's The Nutcracker in my college orchestration class. It is, simply put, one of the most genius examples of composition and orchestration in all of western music history. However, whenever most of us hear some snippet of The Nutcracker, our reaction leans more towards acts of violence rather than peace on earth.

With that in mind, I am always thankful whenever a band or an artist has a fresh take on some of these classic songs. My wife and I both enjoy Bing Crosby or Dean Martin this time of year, but there's just something to be said for artists that can truly do some thing new with these fantastic songs. I also like some of the original tunes that come with an artist doing a Christmas CD. I would like submit the following list for your Advent enjoyment:

Sixpence None the Richer - The Dawn of Grace

Sixpence has been a personal favorite of mine since I was in high school. I am so bummed that they only got popular from what I consider to be their worst song ever, Kiss Me. Most of the songs are in the sacred vein, but there are a good handful of fun, even romantic Christmas-timey songs.

Dustin Kensrue - This Night Is Still Good Everywhere

Dustin is more well known as being the lead vocalist of the band Thrice, but his solo stuff has become some of my favorite for the last couple of years. Like Sixpence, there are some sacred and some secular songs on this record. One song in particular, This Is War, is without a doubt one of the most unique and powerful visions of Christmas I've ever heard. (You can watch the video here: http://youtu.be/k0RbWg0UCKE)

Sojourn - Advent Songs

Two words: wow and wow. This album has so much depth. Sojourn is a church in Louisville, Kentucky, and they have been putting out some of the most creative church music I've ever heard. Their Advent Songs record is no different. There are a few standards, a few standards with new melodies, and lots of originals. I'm singing at least one or two of these tunes at our church this advent season.

Future of Forestry - Advent Christmas EP's 1 and 2

I've been a little bit slow to catch on to this band, but holy cow they're good. Musically, they're very talented and diverse, and they put a ton of heart and passion into everything they do. These EP's have all sacred songs but done in such a fresh way that you'll feel like you're hearing them for the first time. For any guitar nerds or tone junkies out there, these EP's are definitely for you.

My Current Favorite Band-And-A-Half

Page CXVI is a band that is putting out updated versions of the hymns. I'm not entirely sure how I heard of them, but MAN I'm digging their stuff. They also perform original tunes (non "religious" songs, if you will) under the moniker The Autumn Film. I highly recommend their newest CD The Ship and the Sea. Hymns #3 comes out on November 30.

The Most Boring Section of the Whole Bible

For the last few days, my Bible-reading plan has taken me through some of the most boring chapters I could have ever imagined in the entire Bible: Joshua 15 through 19 or so. The book of Joshua, up to this point, has been recounting the military exploits of the people of Israel under the leadership of Joshua as they conquer the land of Canaan. The stories are full of intrigue, blood, drama, and interesting characters. But, at chapter 15, the narrative begins to describe how they divided up the land between the different tribes and groups of the Israelites. It is, without a doubt, one of the most tedious sections of scripture I have ever had the privilege to read. The specificity with which the geographical locations are named is tough to follow, much less understand.

Here is a brief snippet for you. Please try to stay awake all the way through:

The territory of the people of Ephraim by their clans was as follows: the boundary of their inheritance on the east was Ataroth-addar as far as Upper Beth-horon, and the boundary goes from there to the sea. On the north is Michmethath. Then on the east the boundary turns around toward Taanath-shiloh and passes along beyond it on the east to Janoah, then it goes down from Janoah to Ataroth and to Naarah, and touches Jericho, ending at the Jordan. (Joshua 16:5-7 ESV)

I hold to the view of scripture known as "Verbal Plenary Inspiration." Inspiration means that the Bible does not come from mere men, but that God himself spoke His Word through them (2 Peter 1:21). Verbal means that the specific words of the scripture are given to us by God (Matthew 5:18). Plenary means that the ENTIRE Bible was given to us by God and is for our good, even the seemingly irrelevant sections (2 Timothy 3:16). It is easy to appreciate the exciting stories in the Torah or the practical teaching from Paul's writings; it is often more difficult to appreciate the genealogies or the long descriptions of Levitical priestly practice or these long geographical descriptions. However, something happened recently that spoke volumes to me about these chapters in Joshua.

Two Sundays ago, a doctor from my church did a presentation on a medical mission that he is a part of in the Sudan. For those who don't know, the Sudan has been decimated by decades of civil war, ethnic strife, and genocide. It is undoubtedly one of the poorest regions in the entire world and in desperate need for God's people to step in and intervene. Dr. Jack was talking to my friend Rich about the fighting in the region and he said something very interesting. One of the major contributing factors to the fighting between people groups in Sudan is the lack of geographical boundary lines for their territories. The boundary lines were drawn up by government people looking at a map, not at the actual land. Dr. Jack said that if they were to have rivers and mountains dividing the people instead of imaginary lines, it would go a long way to easing the tensions.

Have you ever wondered why some of our United States are so weirdly shaped? It's because many of their borders follow the natural geography of the region. Only someone on drugs would think to draw a state shaped like West Virginia if they were handed a map and a marker. Only further out west, when the U.S. took control over huge regions of land, did we get boring, theoretical state shapes like Utah and Colorado. There is tremendous wisdom, sociologically speaking, in having people's boundaries marked by the natural divisions we see in nature.

Now, when I read Joshua 15 and such, I am thankful to God for His tremendous wisdom in giving the people of Israel the land according to natural markers. In fact, only 300 short years after the events in Joshua, the people of Israel became so divided that they actually split into 2 autonomous nations. Could you imagine if they hadn't had natural divisions? They might not have made it 50 years!! Once again, we see the hand of God at work in providing His people with the best possible chance for success as a nation. These potentially boring chapters can now, with a little understanding, open up our eyes to a greater measure of God's manifold wisdom and give us an opportunity to worship Him.

p.s. For those who may be interested, here's the website for the Alaska Sudan Medical Project: www.AlaskaSudan.org

Meek, Meek, Meek, Meek

Meekness is one of those words that we, in modern American English, have a difficult time defining. If we are able to define it all, it is usually by using negative descriptors: mild, wimpy, pushover, etc. In the Bible, Jesus is described as being meek. Often times, we have a difficult time thinking of meekness as an admirable trait.

I've been reading a book called "The Pursuit of God" by A.W. Tozer. In this book, Tozer speaks about meekness in a much more Biblical way, and I thought that it was valuable enough to share. He contrasts Biblical meekness with the world's way of trying to prove oneself as being valuable, as being important, as being "enough." Here is a short excerpt:

The labor of self-love is a heavy one indeed....The heart's fierce effort to protect itself from every slight, to shield its touchy honor from the bad opinion of friend and enemy, will never let the mind have rest. Continue this fight through the years and the burden will become intolerable. Yet the sons of the earth are carrying this burden continually, challenging every word spoken against them, cringing under every criticism, smarting under each fancied slight, tossing sleepless if another is preferred before them.

Such a burden as this is not necessary to bear. Jesus calls us to rest, and meekness is His method. The meek man cares not at all who is greater than he, for he has long ago decided that the esteem of the world is not worth the effort. He develops toward himself a kindly sense of humor and learns to say, "Oh, so you have been overlooked? They have placed someone else before you? They have whispered that you are pretty small stuff after all? And now you feel hurt because the world is saying about you the very things you have been saying about yourself...Come on, humble yourself, and cease to care what men think."

The meek man is not a human mouse afflicted with a sense of his own inferiority. Rather he may be in his moral life as bold as a lion and as strong as Samson; but he has stopped being fooled about himself. He has accepted God's estimate of his own life. He knows he is as weak and helpless as God has declared him to be, but paradoxically, he knows at the same time that he is in the sight of God of more importance than angels. In himself, nothing; in God, everything...He knows that the world will never see him as God sees him and he has stopped caring. He rests perfectly content to allow God to place His own values."

25 Ways To Be A Servant-Leader

This last summer, my wife and I led a small group based on Mark Driscoll's "Song of Solomon" teachings. We found it to be very insightful and helpful in getting discussions going between us as husband and wife, and most of the people in our group did as well. One of the key terms that Driscoll uses for how a husband and wife are to relate to one another is "servant-lover." In a nutshell, that means that each spouse is seeks to put the interests of the other before their own, being caring, generous, appreciative, and humble towards each other. When a relationship has two people who approach it from this angle, it becomes something beautiful, healthy and holy.

Last week I was talking to Jim Lamson, our men's ministry pastor, about the "Quest For Authentic Manhood" series he's taking the men through. One of the things the material stresses is for men to take the lead in being a servant-lover. The term that is used by the curriculum is a "servant-leader." Granted, it takes two to make a thing go right (did that just happen?), but I believe that the Bible gives a definite leadership role to the man when it comes to the institution of marriage. The "Quest" program seeks to instill in men the desire and the drive to lovingly, compassionately, and humbly lead their wives through servant leadership. When Jim Lamson showed me the following list, I found it to be extremely helpful, and I wanted to share it with you. The following 25 points are but a few practical guidelines to help men gain and refine their vision for what Godly leadership looks like in a marriage.

*special note: if you are a wife, the following should NOT be used as a checklist to hold over your husband's head! :) Instead, use this list as a way to pray for your husband to continue to grow into the man he is called to be in Christ.

1. A servant-leader includes his wife in envisioning the future.

2. A servant-leader accepts spiritual responsibility for his family

3. A servant-leader is willing to say "I'm sorry" and "forgive me" to his family.

4. A servant-leader discusses household responsibilities with his wife and makes sure they are fairly distributed.

5. A servant-leader seeks the consultation of his wife on all major financial decisions.

6. A servant-leader follows through with commitments he has made to his wife.

7. A servant-leader anticipates the different seasons his marriage will pass through.

8. A servant-leader anticipates the different seasons his children will pass through.

9. A servant-leader frequently tells his wife what he likes about her.

10. A servant-leader provides financially for his family's basic living expenses.

11. A servant-leader deals with distractions so he can talk with his wife and family.

12. A servant-leader prays with his wife on a regular basis.

13. A servant-leader initiates meaningful family traditions.

14. A servant-leader plans fun outings for the family on a regular basis.

15. A servant-leader takes the time to give his children practical instruction about life, which in turn gives them confidence with their peers.

16. A servant-leader manages the schedule of the home and anticipates any pressure points.

17. A servant-leader keeps his family financially sound and out of harmful debt.

18. A servant-leader makes sure he and his wife have drawn up a will and arranged a well-conceived plan for their children in case of death.

19. A servant-leader lets his wife and children into the interior of his life.

20. A servant-leader honors his wife in public.

21. A servant-leader explains sex to each child in a way that gives them a wholesome perspective.

22. A servant-leader encourages his wife to grow as an individual.

23. A servant-leader takes the lead in establishing with his wife sound, biblically-supportable family values.

24. A servant-leader joins a small group of men who are dedicated to improving their skills as a man, husband and father.

25. A servant-leader provides time for his wife to pursue her own personal interests.

Again, I found this list challenging and insightful. My suggestion for the men is to take time to chew these over, and ask God which ones you're doing well, and which ones you need to grow in.

The Grass Actually Is Greener

I love mowing my lawn. It is therapeutic for me. On most Mondays, I put on a pair of headphones blasting something good (The Autumn Film, MuteMath, Wayne Grudem's Systematic Theology), fill up the weed-whacker and the mower with gas, and get to work. My yard is not actually that big, but our house is right next to our neighborhood greenbelt, so I end up mowing more than I need to. I've been living at my current house for 6 years, and the lawn has been improving each and every year.

Last week, when I mowed the lawn, I tried a new pattern: diagonal stripes instead of the usual horizontal. I was meticulous, thorough, and altogether obsessive-compulsive. The quality was major-league-ballfield-worthy. When I was finished, I was overcome with a deep sense of pride and accomplishment.

(Side note: some sort of philosophical, spiritual diatribe about feeling a good and healthy sense of pride as opposed to the sinful, selfish kind of pride...I dunno, just something...)

As ridiculous as it sounds, I found myself walking over to the window and admiring my lawn for the next 2 days. I just loved looking at the lines! (You are all concerned for my sanity, right now, huh?) I think I drove my wife nuts with my continual self-congratulating trips to the window so as to admire my work. She loves me in spite of my insanity.

I was perfectly content to be proud of my own work, with no accolades from anyone else. My lawn is between God and me. However, yesterday, a letter arrived in the mail from my homeowner's association.

I don't really have any reason to share this with you other than to allow you to share in my joy. My wife was incredibly embarrassed at my dancing, whooping, and fist-pumping when I received this letter. You would have thought that I'd won the lottery.

A Quick Word For The Quran Burners

I know it's not easy, but this is the call from our Lord Jesus the Christ: give love, mercy, grace, and forgiveness where it is least expected. Of course you're angry about Islamic violence. Of course you desire to do something to make them feel pain the way you have. Of course you're frustrated by the feeling that your own religious liberties are being trampled on. But, as Jesus instructs, it doesn't do you ANY good at all to take matters into your own hands. This is not the way of Jesus. Listen to his sermon from almost 2 millennia ago:

"But I say to you who hear, Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you. To one who strikes you on the cheek, offer the other also, and from one who takes away your cloak do not withhold your tunic either. Give to everyone who begs from you, and from one who takes away your goods do not demand them back. And as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them.

“If you love those who love you, what benefit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them. And if you do good to those who do good to you, what benefit is that to you? For even sinners do the same. And if you lend to those from whom you expect to receive, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners, to get back the same amount. But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return, and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, for he is kind to the ungrateful and the evil. Be merciful, even as your Father is merciful."

(Luke 6:27-36 ESV)

What Is Repentance?

Our Lord and Master Jesus Christ, when He said Poenitentiam agite, willed that the whole life of believers should be repentance. - Martin Luther, #1 of the 95 Theses

You should know that if you send me an email or a Facebook message asking me a theological or a pastoral question, it will most likely be turned into a blog post. I'm just giving you fair warning. Earlier today, I received a 2-part question from a friend of mine.

1) How would you explain repentance to a person who is not a believer, or who is brand new to the Christian faith?

2) How would you explain repentance to a person who feels like it is a form of punishment?

There are two ways of approaching this: the short version and the long version. The problem with the long version is that most people don't want or need that level of explanation to "get it" when it comes to repentance. The problem with the short answer is that it leaves some of the more nuanced questions unanswered. I will do a quick, short answer, and then answer in more detail.

Here's my short answer: "Recognizing wrong things I've done, asking for and receiving God's forgiveness, and then intentionally turning away from those things."

Here's my long answer:

1. I need to recognize that there are certain things I have done in my life that are destructive or hurtful to myself and others. The Bible calls this sin.

2. I need to recognize that there are certain good things I SHOULD have done but didn't do. The Bible also calls this sin

3. I need to recognize that there are motives, thoughts, and words in me that are also harmful to myself or others. Even though no action was taken, the Bible still calls this sin.

4. Based on the 3 above statements, I now realize that I need to be different than I am. I desire to improve or change my life, my thoughts, my actions, and my words.

* At this point, a very important objection needs to be noted. Many people will say something along the lines of "I haven't murdered anyone, I haven't robbed a bank, I haven't sold my children into prostitution, I'm a pretty good person! Who cares that I lied on a job application or that I snuck out of my parents' house in the 8th grade. Compared to what other people are doing, I'm a very good person." The problem with that line of thinking is that repentance is exclusively between a person and God; repentance has absolutely nothing to do with any other person. And, since God's standard is absolute perfection, we all fall short. We might be doing pretty well when we compare ourselves to Hitler, but we are absolutely wretched when we compare ourselves to Jesus. THAT's why we need to repent.

5. Based on my own efforts, I realize that I am incapable of just "being better." I have tried very, very hard, but seem to be getting worse, not better.

6. I realize that not only have I harmed myself and others, but that I have sinned against God. I have broken His laws and caused Him grief.

7. I learn that God's moral laws are not abstract "rules" designed to just "keep us in line" or rob us of our fun, but they are like guard rails to keep us from crashing as we navigate the roads of life. There is a better way to drive than just telling ourselves "Don't hit the guard rails!"; there's a better way to live than just telling ourselves "Don't break the rules!" That better way is called repentance.

8. I learn that the scripture says "if we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us of our sins and cleanse us of all unrighteousness." (1 John 1:9) This means...

- I need to be honest with myself and God about my wrongdoing

- He will forgive me. He loves to forgive. He delights in showing mercy (Micah 7:18)

- He will lift off of me the burden of guilt and shame that I've carried due to my wrongdoing

- He will begin to change my desires from the inside out

9. We approach God humbly, knowing that we've sinned, but we also approach God confidently, knowing that we have been freely offered forgiveness because of Jesus death on the cross. (Heb 4:16)

10. Because of my repentance, I now feel empowered to walk forward with confidence, know that God himself is working with me to become the type of person who He wants me to be.

Now on the subject of punishment, there are 3 different words that need to be defined:

Punishment: retribution, payback. You have done X wrong thing, so you will receive Y punishment. Very often, if someone wrongs us, we desire to inflict punishment back on them, usually not in proportion to the wrong they did to us. The Old Testament put restrictions on that type of escalation so that the punishment would fit the crime. "Eye for an eye" is actually quite revolutionary for the time. We, as Christians, believe that Jesus already bore the punishment that we deserved for our sin and rebellion to God. We have absolutely no punishment awaiting us, because Jesus took it all upon himself.

Discipline: training, teaching, learning. The desire of discipling is always instructive. It may look similar sometimes to punishment, but it has a different goal. The goal of punishment is justice, but the goal of discipline is learning. The Bible is clear that God definitely disciplines His children because He loves them, and that even imperfect earthly fathers discipline their children to help them learn and grow. True, discipline is not pleasant, but when we understand that it is for our benefit and that it is not punishment, it truly can become a joy.

Consequences: natural results. If my put my hand on a hot stove, I will get burned. If I speak harshly to my friend, the relationship is strained. If I use drugs, my brain will function less effectively. Natural consequences are not "punishment" per se, and are not necessarily even discipline, although they should be used as a learning tool. Every human being is subject to natural consequences, whether they're forgiven by God or not.

So, as we can see, repentance is an acknowledgment of wrongdoing and a means to be forgiven by God. He may still discipline us, or there may still be natural consequences to deal with because of our sin, but there is not punishment from God for those who have truly repented and trusted in Jesus for salvation. Trusting in Jesus is very important, because without His death and resurrection, we don't have repentance, we merely have apologies.

One final thought. Not to get too Calvinist here...but there is a certain aspect of mystery as to who will be able to repent. 2 Timothy 2:25 and Acts 11:18 seem to indicate that in some way, repentance itself is a gift from God. I don't fully understand why some people just never seem to "get it" when it comes to the issue of their own sinfulness. I can't force someone into understanding their need for a Savior; I can't guilt them, or shame them, or browbeat them, or convince them. They need a revelation within their own heart. I can, however, pray for them to come to an understanding of God's kindness and mercy, which the Bible says leads us to repentance (Rom 2:4). I also can explain to them clearly and lovingly the Biblical truth of our need to repent. I can also share with them the joy I have that comes from experiencing God's forgiveness firsthand.

So You Think You Wanna Audition For American Idol

A few weeks ago, I decided to try out for American Idol in San Francisco. I did this for 3 reasons:

1. For fun. I like being a part of certain cultural phenomenon (i.e. iPhone 4 overnight line, certain movie opening nights, etc.). If nothing else, it thought it would be cool to someday tell my grandkids "When I was younger, we had this ridiculous TV phenomenon called American Idol and, yeah, I auditioned once."

2. To prove something. I have been doing music and band related stuff for my entire life, but I've never really done much as a singer. Up until 2 years ago, I considered myself a guitar player exclusively; in the last few years, I have begun to work on improving my singing as its own craft. I am no vocal virtuoso, but I wanted to see how I stood up under the pressure and the scrutiny.

3. For the possibility. Going into this experience, I had no delusions that I would walk away as the "Next...American Idol" (insert Ryan Seacrest voice here), but it couldn't hurt to give it a shot. In all honesty, I don't know that I would have wanted to participate in the TV competition part, but I would have liked to go to the Hollywood week. That section of the show always seems like a crash course in reality for a working musician.

I told myself that if I was going to do this, all the pieces would have to fall into place easily. My wife and I ended up having one extra free airline ticket that got me to San Fran for free. My bass player, Kristal, has a good friend in the Bay area who had an extra room for me to stay, again for free. Super big thanks to Lily and her roommates, Chris, Katie, and Emily for letting me crash these last 3 nights!! I had a few extra dollars of spending cash from doing some recording work last month. After 4 days of meals and transportation, I have enough money to the penny to get back to the airport this afternoon...hooray frugality!

Here is a timeline of my experiences this week. I have included some pictures and videos.

Tuesday, August 17th

5:00a - My plane landed in beautiful San Francisco. I spent a few hours finding coffee and figuring out the public transportation system. I decided to go straight to AT&T Park to get in line for the registration.

7:00a - I arrived at the park. I never expected to be freezing in California, but being right on the bay is dang cold! When I arrived, there were already several thousand people in line ahead of me. The auditions were to occur in the order of registration, so it was good that I got there as early as I did. I got to meet and hang out with a bunch of cool people in the line, which helped pass the time more quickly.

10:30a - I finished the registration process, received my ticket and wristband, and started figuring out how to get to the house I was staying at. All in all, the process went pretty quickly. I found a nearby Borders, where I borrowed the wifi and plotted out my bus route.
12:30p - By now, I am starting to get pretty tired; I only slept for 3 hours on the plane the night before. When I was a little younger, I could deal with that much better. By this time, the sun had come out and I could feel the need to nap in the sun. I walked across the street to a lovely little park by the lake, and promptly fell asleep on a park bench.
6:00p - I napped on and off all afternoon. Around this time, some of the roommates had arrived at the house. After exchanging some conversation, they invited me to eat some tacos with them. After dinner, I turned my attention to se rmon prep and various other tasks that I needed to accomplish.

Wednesday, August 18th
10:00a - I was glad to get to sleep in a bit after my short night of sleep the day before. I decided to go exploring in the immediate vicinity of the house. I found a little coffee shop where I enjoyed a decent, if a bit mild, americano. I also explored quite a bit of the park across the street; there's a golf course, an archery range, a soccer field, several lakes with ducks and miniature boats, and a giant Dutch windmill. I also made my way down to the beach, which was less than a half mile away from the house.

1:00p - Lily had some meetings to go to downtown, and she invited me to tag along and do some sightseeing. I wandered through Chinatown, which is apparently the most population dense neighborhood in the entire United States. I spent a good amount of time inside two incredibly large and incredibly ornate Catholic Churches.

6:00p - We arrived back at the house and made dinner. After dinner, I typed out my answers to the American Idol "Biography" questionnaire. They ask things like "What famous singers do you get compared to?" or "What is interesting or unique about you?" I worked pretty hard on the bio, because I thought it would be something that could help me stand out from the crowd.
8:00p - I hit the hay early, because the instructions said to arrive at the venue by at least 5:00am. Lordy!

Thursday, August 19th
3:30a - Curiously, I woke up before my alarm actually went off. I caught a cab, and arrived at AT&T park at 4:00. I shuffled in, near the front of the crowd, and found myself a piece of pavement where I tried (in vain) to get a little extra sleep.
7:00a - After waiting much longer than anticipated, the producers arrived and began giving instructions to all us Idol hopefuls. The purpose for having everybody show up so early is to get those crowd shots that they use throughout the early episodes of the show. We did a few practice takes of cheers and chants, then...the one, the only...Ryan Seacrest appeared on the scene. He did his classic "We're here in beautiful San Franblahblahblahblah and this...is A-MER-ican Idol" - quick cut to crowd - crowd shouts like a bunch of crazy people - signs are waved - exciting TV is made...or something.

8:30a - At long last, we were finally let into the park, so that we could....wait some more. We did a bunch more "excited crowd" shots, then Bo Bice came out and sang "We Will Rock You" to us. That was pretty much the highlight of my entire life (insert sarcasm emoticon here).
9:30a - By about this time, the producers had made their way to their tents to begin screening applicants. In case you were wondering, the TV judges do NOT see all 6,000 applicants. There is a team of 20 or so TV producers, A&R reps, music producers, and the like who do the initial screening for the contestants. If you make it past them, you are sent inside to audition again for the show's executive producers. It is at this stage, not the first, where they read your bio and see if you have an interesting story. If you make it through the second stage, then and only then do you get the opportunity to appear before the show's TV judges. Incidentally, as of the time of my writing this, they don't even know who those judges are going to be! The peo ple who make it through will get a call back, probably in a few months from now.
2:00p - It was getting very close to being my section. I had eaten some food, drank plenty of water, and warmed up my voice pretty well. Speaking of warming up, there were SO MANY incredibly good singers in the crowd. Here's my estimated breakdown of the crowd assembled:
- 60%: good to very good singers. Lots of people warming up their voices, playing guitar, etc. I imagine that most of these people could make it on the radio if given the chance.
- 20%: VERY good singers. Lots of R&B divas (both male and female) doing incredible vocal runs, rock singers doing powerhouse vocal performances, etc. These people could all be "legends" if given the right opportunities.
- 19%: Terrible singers without a clue. Most of the people warming made me want to stop and listen for a while, but every now and then I heard something that sounded like the restringing of a violin. These people should not be singing, but apparently nobody had ever told them that.
- 1%: The weirdos. The people who are just trying to be freaks and get on TV. A guy in a devil costume. Another guy in a "castaway" outfit. A dude in a full-body spandex suit on those moon-jumping-pogo-stilts.
What's amazing is how the show will do the editing to focus on the prominence of the weirdos and the bad singers. I was literally blown away by the all the talent I found around me. From my seat in the crowd, I could hear people with incredible voices being sent home after a 10 second audition without so much as a second chance. I started to get nervous...
2:40p - MY TIME HAD FINALLY ARRIVED. After being at the park fo r almost 11 hours, my section was instructed to stand up, and make our way onto the field. We were lined up in groups of 4, and my group was told to go stand in front of booth number 6. There were 2 groups of 4 in front of us. 7 of the 8 in front of us were sent home. Only one girl, and oddly dressed high school junior with a soft and soothing voice, was sent through. Upon invitation, our group stepped forward and began to sing one by one. I sang the chorus of The All American Rejects' "Move Along" in the key of C#. I felt pretty good about it. I was cut off after about 13 seconds. (Everybody was). After a few quick glances and murmured words between the two British judges, they said (and I quote): "Great job, you guys. You all have very nice voices, thanks for singing. But, it's a no for today. Thanks again."

And that...was...it.

An idol worker came up to me, snipped off my wristband and pointed me toward the exit. On my way out, I bumped into Nigel Lythgoe, one of the show's creators and producers. He also is a producer/judge of So You Think You Can Dance. I said hello and thanked him for the opportunity. He was very friendly and approachable. When I asked him if the show would ever make another trip to Alaska, he laughed and said "probably not. Do you know how much of a pain in the ass is is to bring the whole TV show to Alaska?" I responded with "Well, how do you think I feel?!" We exchanged a laugh and a few other pleasantries, and I walked out of the stadium to call my wife and let her know how it went.
3:00p - I ended up walking around downtown for a long time. I walked probably 6 miles in Converse in hilly San Francisco just decompressing from a long and slightly disappointing day. I found a place called "King of Falafel" where I was served the national food of Israel by two Latino women who were watching Hannah Montana. Also, an Asian guy wearing a kilt came in after a few minutes. It was a surreal experience.

6:30p - I made it home, and fell asleep almost instantly. I woke up once in the night to use the bathroom, but slept until 9:30 the next morning.

Friday, August 20th
10:30 - I had the BEST cup of coffee ever at a little hole in the wall called Simple Pleasures. I haven't felt sad, or defeated, or even like the trip was a waste at all. I reflected on the previous day's events with a certain fondness as I will never forget the experience. My plane leaves San Fran at 7:00p this evening, so I came home to pack, shower, and work on this blog.

This is a little bit more like a journal entry for me. I have all sorts of cultural, theological, sociological thoughts on the American Idol show and the process, but I will save those for another post. This one is for all my friends and family who wanted to hear about the experience. Hopefully, the pictures and videos can help it come to life a little bit more for you.

Recommended Archaeology Posts

Until I get the free time to type up a more full blog post of my own, let me recommend a couple of posts to you from the Parchment and Pen blog. If you are at all interested in history and archaeology, these posts should excite you. The series is called "The Top Ten Biblical Discoveries in Archaeology." They do a good job of warning Christians in believing in the "folk theology" and undocumented stories that end up circulating around church circles. Heck, many of these supposed "discoveries" are outright forgeries created with the intention to bolster faith in Biblical exposition. Shame that they end up having the exact opposite effect...

In this series, however, they will be looking at the serious, scholarly discoveries that have provided legitimization to the Biblical record. The Bible is actual history, not myth, and more and more discoveries have been made to provide indicators to that point. I have provided links to the introductory post, and the #10 in the top ten countdown.

My hope and prayer is that you would find a connection with God through the study of history. I have had some of my most profound "God moments" as I look through the historical record and see that the hand of God working throughout our story. I find it incredibly refreshing to connect with that larger historical stream of the people of God. Sometimes, we as 21st century thinkers can be exceptionally myopic.

Here are the links:

Introduction: http://bit.ly/aL7SVG

#10, Assyrian Lachish Reliefs: http://bit.ly/bLDx8j

Enjoy! Obviously they will be doing more of these in the coming weeks.

No iPhone, Day 6

I have discovered a potential light at the end of the technological tunnel. A little birdie told me that the local AT&T stores get the new iPhones in this week. I could potentially walk in and purchase one as early as Thursday. Unfortunately, this means that I will have to be one of..."those people" who camp out on the sidewalk the night before.

Do I really want to be that guy? Is this type of behavior appropriate over a phone? Am I addicted? Does this classify as some type of mental imbalance? I'm not sure. I guess I could approach it as a lark, or as a self-depricating joke at my own expense. It could give me some good time to sit and listen to music or sermons, or read my Bible or one of my currently in-progress books. Heck, maybe I could strike up conversation with the other iPhone addicts, assuming they know any other language besides Klingon or Qenya elvish.

Or I could just get used to it and learn to love my borrowed LG Chocolate....HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Sorry, I couldn't keep it together there.

Dawn Treader Preview

My expectations are really high for this movie. I'm pretty certain this is my favorite or 2nd favorite of the Chronicles of Narnia set.

No iPhone, Day 3

The word is "workaround." For nearly 4 years, I have had the iPhone in my pocket to help me accomplish an unbelievable amount of tasks. Now, with no iPhone, I'm having to remember how to accomplish things on my own, without the assistance of the most sophisticated consumer technology in the history of the planet. Here are the most important 4 things that I've come to rely on the iPhone for:

1. Phone calling. This normally simple task has proven to be nearly impossible for me the last 3 days. Assuming that I can figure out how to even MAKE a phone call on this borrowed LG Chocolate, I don't know anyone's number. The iPhone has done a great job of freeing up hard drive space in my brain by storing phone numbers for me, including people who have had the same phone number for 5+ years. Thank goodness I have the Address Book in the Mac, or I'd be toast.

2. Text messaging. I've tried the T9 word thing, I've tried just going standard, I've tried yelling into the phone to get it to dictate it for me. Nothing. In addition, I have the same problem as above regarding not knowing any numbers. If someone texts me, I have a short conversation with myself wondering how mad they'll be at me when they never get a response from me.

3. Music. I've totally got this one covered; the workaround is my old iPod classic. I actually have more music than I could ever fit on the iPhone, so having nearly my whole music library with me has actually been kinda fun. That said, the whole reason I wanted the iPhone in the first place was because I was tired of carrying around two different devices. I spent some time yesterday trying to glue the classic to the Chocolate, but I have yet to discover the right glue for the job.

4. Appointments. Again, I find myself turning back in earnest to my MacBook. The address book in the computer has always synced up automatically with the iPhone, but now I don't have the constant reminders or access to my events. (It should be noted that I used to miss a LOT more appointments before I got the iPhone. This is probably the most beneficial purpose it has served.) Now, when I start my day, I pull a page from the Mike Rawalt playbook: sticky notes. I just look through my appointments for the day, and use the appropriately colored sticky note to match my mood for that day.

There are many other things that I could and would be using my iPhone for if I had it, but these are the top 4. Facebook, email, wikipedia, and a myriad of other web tasks can easily be accomplished on my laptop; I just can't be as mobile with all of it.

The one thing that is definitely killing me is that I was leading almost ALL of my Words With Friends games, and by the time my new iPhone shows up, they will have been automatically deleted. I hope that I can get my swagger back...

No iPhone, Day 1

Last night, I sold my iPhone 3Gs, and pre-ordered the new iPhone 4. Alas, it will now be mid-July before my new one arrives. Let the chronicles begin...

Day 1: I'm not exactly sure where I am, who I am, or what day it is. The shaking and cold sweats wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't for all the vomiting, too.

I keep hearing weird noises, then realizing it is the abominable Nokia in my hoodie pocket. I look at the screen, see some text, but have no idea how to respond. Not only is the technology failing me, but so is my grasp of language itself.

In desperation, I called the guy (not joking) who I sold the phone to and confessed that I had made a terrible mistake. I asked...no, begged for him to sell me back the 3Gs. He told me that his friend had bought if for him. I called the friend. No answer...

...I feel so cold, so very alone...

Why does Steve Jobs want to do this to me? If Steve Jobs is all-powerful and all-good, why can't he end the suffering in the world?

Book Review: "Change Your Church For Good"

"The church in America is dying." This is the declaration we have been hearing for decades now, from everyone from modern/emergent types like Brian McLaren, conservative/traditional folks like Wayne Grudem and R.C. Sproul, and even secular sociologists and university types. While Christianity is exploding throughout the rest of the world (Korea, Africa, and South America, in particular), the U.S. has moved into the "post-Christian" category. Heck, China has more self-identified "Christians" than the U.S. now! Church attendance is down, particularly among younger generations, and more and more Americans are turning to an egalitarian "spirituality," not Jesus.

This is a problem that Brad Powell, the author of "Change Your Church For Good," desires to tackle. This book is aimed at American churches who feel stuck in their ways, out of touch with culture, and dying on the vine. He identifies the problem(s) as being an internal issue for the church; the problem is not God, or the Gospel, or even the "world" and their sinfulness. Powell does a great job of talking about the problems in the modern American church without it coming across as hopeless, overly-critical, or just piling on. While I may disagree with him about some of the solutions to the problems, his heart comes across as genuine and hopeful.

In many ways, this book feels about 20 years too late. It feels like it belongs to the stream of 80's and 90's make-your-church-super-exciting-and-more-consumer-oriented-to-create-a-bigger-draw-for-the-people-in-your-city type of books. He makes repeated calls to do away with the "man-made traditions" of the past while embracing newer forms of technology, music, and services. While I appreciate and respect the evangelical mindset (a tradition to which I proudly belong), I don't believe that the solutions are primarily solved through the activities, structure, and flow of our Sunday service. While heart issues are most definitely discussed, it feels like there is"Change..." seems to put a high emphasis on physical/practicial (superficial?) solutions to the problem of the dying church.

To give you one example of how this comes across in the book, Powell talks at one point of wanting to make people feel welcome in the church building for Sunday services. He speaks of churches that have signs hanging on their walls: "no food or drink in the sanctuary," "no gum," or "no running in the auditorium." These signs, he postulates, make people feel more like they are "in a museum" and not a warm, inviting place. The solution? Install cup holders in the seating so people feel free to bring their drinks in the services. While I 100% agree with the author that we should never "care more about [our] carpeting than people" and that "God intended the church to be about people, not place," my belief is that cup holder solution is only a band-aid, at best, for a society that is entirely too self-focused and consumeristic. (At least I feel too self-focused and consumeristic...)

This book does have several strengths, mainly in the call to speak the language of the culture without compromising the essential truths of the Christian faith. He (mildly) calls out both seeker-sensitive-evangelical churches as well as liberal-progressive-don't-offend-anyone churches. I fully agree with the author's conclusion that Biblical truths and cultural relevance are not mutually exclusive. Call us crazy, but people like Powell and myself truly want to have our cake and eat it too: love, forgiveness and acceptance holding hands with truth and transformation.

If anyone has read the book "Unchristian" by Kinnaman & Lyons, they will no doubt detect resonances of their work in this book. Where "Unchristian" comes across as a work of statistics and sociology, this book comes across as much more accessible and pastoral. The writing style is easy to follow, and the chapters are organized well enough to communicate the author's main thoughts. Overall, I found this book to be insightful, but not revolutionary. While I appreciate Powell's call for the church to look in the mirror and come to grips with the need for change, I found the solutions offered to be far too thin. By way of analogy, it would be like me looking in the mirror, recognizing that there is a problem, and then deciding to change my wardrobe and hair, not to exercise and eat healthy. This book does not address issues at a deep enough level for it to receive a truly enthusiastic review from this humble blogger. :)

* I received a free copy of this book from Thomas Nelson Publishers in exchange for a fair review. I was not required to give a positive review of this book.

Lyrical Analysis of "Ice Ice Baby"

OK, so I heard the song "Ice Ice Baby" last night on the show Glee, and it got me thinking..."what the heck are these lyrics even about?!?" I've never really taken the time to think deeply about what Vanilla Ice is trying to tell us. Every time I've heard the song, a spasm of joyful-early-90's-hip-hop dancing, and completely ignored the lyrics. So, for today's super-important post, I will be decoding the symbolism, metaphor, irony, and depth of meaning that is present on this legendary song. Here goes:

All right stop, collaborate and listen

Apparently this song is best enjoyed when there is some sort of group effort put into understanding these lyrics. I must immediately stop doing what I was doing, and join forces with some other people in an effort to understand what is being communicated.

Ice is back with my brand new invention
Where was Ice before? No one had ever heard of him before this song!! Also, this brand new invention is apparently going to be revolutionary, like the light bulb, or the fax machine.

Something grabs a hold of me tightly

Something is grabbing and squeezing our beloved Vanilla Ice?! Maybe it was an early incarnation of the smoke monster from Lost.

Flow like a harpoon daily and nightly

Sheer poetry. All around the world, whalers are nodding their heads in stoic agreement.

Will it ever stop? Yo, I don't know. Turn off the lights and I'll glow

Will what ever stop? The rhymes? Whatever was squeezing him before? The harpoon? Also, Ice has just revealed to us that he may be radioactive.

To the extreme I rock a mic like a vandal, light up a stage and wax a chump like a candle
I really think that Ice should reconsider before doing destructive things to the microphone. Otherwise, how else would we ever hear him? Also, he gets 14 extra bonus points for coming up with the "vandal-candle" rhyme scheme. Never even saw it coming...

Dance go rush to the speaker that booms

Here he's reaching out to that ever coveted "Geico caveman" demographic. Also toddlers.

I'm killing your brain like a poisonous mushroom

Oh. Dear. God.

Deadly when I play a dope melody

Because when I think of the song "Ice Ice Baby", I instantly think of the power of melody.

Anything less than the best is a felony

I'm really glad to see that he is willing to hold himself criminally liable should this song not deliver the goods. That demonstrates real maturity and character.

Love it or leave it, you better gain way

Gain way could be misinterpreted as "gain weight" thus encouraging the youth of America to not make healthy food choices. Good thing Ice inspires so much dancing to counter his potentially irresponsible food messages.

You better hit bull's eye the kid don't play

So the kid is playing with a firearm? Or maybe a bow and arrow? Someone should alert the kid's parents quickly!

If there was a problem yo I'll solve it

Good, cuz I was about to panic. Ice has got this under control, people.

Check out the hook while my DJ revolves it

I'm glad that this lyric draws my attention to the hook, because I frankly would have missed it. Those stupid 3 words go by so fast: "Ice, Ice Baby." Good thing he says it a few (thousand) times.

OK, I know that there's like 3 or 9 more verses, but this is all the lyrical genius that my brain can handle in one sitting. Maybe at some point in the future I'll analyze the other verses. For now, just remember that with all the poisonous mushrooms, vandalism of microphones, target practice, and felonies, this just may be one of the most dangerous verses ever written. Respect the Ice. Peace.